#1 - HO’OPONOPONO
I know, I know… the first tool is a mouthful! Don’t worry, I didn’t know how to pronounce it either at first. It’s pronounced just as you would read it, just try saying it slowly at first
What is Ho’oponopono?
Ho’oponopono is a Hawaiian practice of forgiveness that means "to make right." It is a simple yet powerful tool based on four phrases:
"I’m sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you."
This practice is a way to clear emotional burdens, release past pain, and restore inner peace by taking responsibility for our experiences and healing from within.
Where I Was When I Found It
For almost thirty years, I carried a weight I couldn’t name. It was in the way I spoke about my past, in the way I waited—always waited—for someone to acknowledge my pain. When people listened and said, “Poor Misun,” I felt seen. Their sympathy felt like love, and I clung to it.
But no matter how many times I told my story, the emptiness remained. The pain did not leave. The love I sought never truly filled me. I had lived my life as a victim, convinced that my suffering was someone else’s fault.
Then, one day, after reading book after book on self-help, I found Ho’oponopono. Or maybe it found me.
How I Used It
At first, I didn’t fully understand it. Four simple sentences—"I’m sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you."—seemed too simple to heal the depth of my wounds. But something inside me whispered, Just try.
So I did.
Every time I felt discomfort, sadness, or anger, I repeated the words in my head, or when I was alone, even out loud. I didn’t know if they were working. I just kept going.
At the same time, I started another unfamiliar practice—I began journaling to my inner child. It felt awkward at first. Calling my own name, asking myself questions—it all seemed silly. But I had been searching for something, anything, that could truly transform my life. So I kept writing, night after night, reaching out to the little girl inside me.
Then, one night, everything cracked open.
Tears poured out of me, more than I thought my body could hold. I hadn’t realized how much sadness lived inside me. I hadn’t known I carried so much anger. But as I wrote, something shifted.
For the first time, I saw little Misun—not as me, but as a part of me that had been frozen in time. A little girl, waiting to be seen, waiting to be loved. And so, I gave her what she had always needed. I told her, I love you. I see you. You are safe with me.
And in that moment, something unexpected happened.
I felt the presence of God.
Not the God of religion, not a figure in the sky, but something vast, something infinite—something that had always been there, waiting for me to remember.
I realized I was not just my pain.
I was a soul.
And my soul had chosen this life.
I had chosen my family, my childhood, my struggles—not as punishment, but as lessons. I had come here to learn to forgive. I had come here to remember who I truly was. And in that realization, I no longer needed anyone else to tell me I was loved.
Because love had been inside me all along.
For the first time in my life, I felt free.
I remember this moment so clearly, because it was the true beginning of my healing journey. I wish I could say that I've been fully healed in that moment, but I guess life isn't that easy! But it opened up in me a profound shift. Knowing that healing is possible and it gave me confidence to face whatever was to come next.
Why I Like This Tool
Ho’oponopono helped me make a transformational change in how I saw myself. I was not a victim—I was the creator of my own healing. It gave me the power to release blame, take responsibility for my emotions, and find true peace within myself.
This practice is simple (something you will see is a theme in the tools I’ve used the most), but its impact is profound. It requires no one else’s participation—just my willingness to say the words, feel the emotions, and allow healing to happen.
How I Use This Tool Today
Ho’oponopono is now part of my daily life. Whenever I feel emotional discomfort—whether it’s frustration, sadness, or resentment—I repeat the four phrases:
"I’m sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you."
I also continue to journal with my inner child, reassuring her that she is seen, heard, and loved.
Some days, the practice brings immediate relief. Other times, I don’t feel a shift right away—but I trust that healing is happening, layer by layer.
How You Can Apply This Tool
Use the Ho’oponopono prayer
In any situation that triggers emotional pain, repeat:
"I’m sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you."Say it until you feel a shift in your emotions.
Connect with your inner child
Journal: Write letters to your younger self, offering love and reassurance.
Meditate: Sit in stillness and visualize your inner child, sending them love.
Mirror work: Look into your own eyes in the mirror and speak kind words to yourself.
Be patient
If this practice feels awkward or uncomfortable at first, keep going.
Your inner child may not respond right away, but they are always waiting for you.
Resources
📖 Book
Zero Limits: The Secret Hawaiian System for Wealth, Health, Peace, and More by Joe Vitale & Ihaleakala Hew Len
🎧 YouTube
There are many Ho’oponopono prayers available on YouTube. You can even listen to them while sleeping to help reprogram your subconscious mind.
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🙌 Whew! That was a lot. If you liked this first tool, I can’t wait to share with you the next: A Course in Miracles (ACIM)