Summary - The 7 Tools That Helped Me Discover Self-Love
Alright, thanks for coming along on this 7-part blog series! These were the seven most transformative tools that I’ve used in my life that have been nothing short of game-changers. Each one has shaped my healing journey, helping me confront deep-seated wounds, embrace my true self, and create lasting change in my relationships.
In case you didn’t have a chance to read about each tool, here is a brief summary for each.
Ho’oponopono – Ho’oponopono is a Hawaiian forgiveness practice centered on four phrases: “I’m sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you.” For years, I sought validation through others’ sympathy, but the emptiness remained until I discovered this practice. By repeating these words and journaling to my inner child, I experienced a profound shift—I released blame, found self-love, and stepped into true healing. Ho’oponopono taught me that peace comes from within, not from others. It’s a simple yet powerful tool that anyone can use to process emotions, let go of the past, and create inner freedom.
A Course In Miracle (ACIM) - A Course in Miracles (ACIM) is a spiritual guide that shifts perception from fear to love, teaching that true peace comes from surrendering fear-based thoughts. I discovered ACIM through David Hawkins and initially resisted its lessons, especially the idea that "nothing I see means anything." It took me years to complete the workbook, but eventually, I had a breakthrough—realizing that holiness isn’t about perfection but about seeing beyond my flaws. ACIM transformed my life by showing me that my thoughts don’t define me, fear is an illusion, and love is my true nature. Now, I revisit the workbook annually, deepening my understanding each time. If you're open to a radical shift in perception, ACIM is a powerful tool for inner transformation.
EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) - EFT (Tapping) is a powerful yet simple technique that helps release emotional stress by gently tapping on specific points on the body while acknowledging emotions. I discovered EFT during my inner child work and was skeptical at first, but it quickly became a transformative tool. One memorable experience was when I used tapping to process deep feelings of rejection, and by the end, I felt a sense of clarity and peace. Now, tapping is a regular part of my life, even something I share with my son as a way to manage emotions together. The best part? EFT works fast, offering immediate relief from overwhelm and anxiety. If you’re looking for an easy, effective way to process emotions and restore balance, give it a try!
Letting go (Surrender)- The Letting Go technique, developed by Dr. David R. Hawkins, is a powerful method for releasing emotional burdens by allowing emotions to pass through without resistance. I discovered it after years of inner work, realizing that despite all my efforts, old emotions still lingered. When fear overwhelmed me during a job search, I chose to surrender completely—fully feeling the fear rather than fighting it. Within 24 hours, the fear lifted, and an unexpected opportunity presented itself, changing my life. This practice taught me that I don’t have to fix or control emotions; I just need to let them be. Now, I use this mindset daily, even with my son, guiding him to acknowledge and release feelings without judgment. Letting go isn’t just a technique—it’s a way to find peace, trust in life, and open the door to unexpected possibilities.
Vipassana Meditation – Vipassana meditation is an ancient practice that involves observing bodily sensations without resistance, allowing emotions, pain, and thoughts to arise and pass naturally. It teaches non-attachment and self-awareness, helping us face discomfort without trying to control or suppress it. I first experienced its transformative power during a retreat, where I learned to sit with difficult emotions rather than fight them. Vipassana has since become part of my daily life, guiding me to remain present and accept emotions as they come. It's a practice of surrender and acceptance, showing us that we don’t need to be perfect or fix everything—we simply need to be with ourselves.
Creating My Personal Document - Your document is like a personal manifesto, not just affirmations but a declaration of who you are choosing to become. I discovered this practice through Steve Hardison, The Ultimate Coach, during a period when I had done deep healing but still felt stuck—especially in my marriage. Writing my document forced me to confront old, painful beliefs, like "I am not lovable" and "I am not good enough." Instead of staying trapped in those stories, I rewrote my truth: "I am a child of God. I am complete and whole.” At first, reading it felt unnatural, but with consistency, it reshaped how I saw myself. Now, I read my document daily as an anchor, especially when doubt creeps in. If you want to create your own, start by identifying the beliefs that hold you back, then declare a new truth. Read it every day and let it transform your reality.
Being in a Relationship – In my relationship, I’ve learned that healing isn't about never being triggered, but about meeting myself with love when I am. Recently, after a deep conversation with my partner, I found myself triggered when I didn’t receive the apology I was hoping for. Instead of shutting down, he offered to listen and hold space for me. This response challenged my inner child, who had long struggled with abandonment and invalidation. It made me realize that healing and true connection come not from being "fixed," but from doing the inner work to hold space for myself and allowing my partner to hold space for me. This experience showed me that a healthy relationship is possible—not because someone fixes me, but because I’ve learned to support myself through my wounds.
As I reflected on these tools, I realized a profound common thread:
I don’t need to change myself.
What’s necessary is to acknowledge what’s within me and accept it—whether it’s good or bad. That is the starting point.
When I accept myself as I am, change becomes inevitable. It’s through acceptance that true transformation happens.
Each one of the tools I’ve mentioned helps me with the “how.” How do I accept - and even love - what is happening in my life? I don’t know that I can say one tool is better than the other. They are different. I use some at different times and often I use more than one in a given situation. Recently, I’ve noticed that applying these tools continuously is just in a way what I have become. If you asked me what I did today, I would tell you that I applied these tools. The situations that I applied them to don’t really matter that much anymore. Because my first priority is healing. And in order to heal, stuff has to come up to heal. At least nowadays I have enough tools to deal with whatever comes up.
Moreover, I think there are always moments when we don’t love what we’re doing or saying. I definitely have those moments, too. It’s part of being human. And accepting those parts of myself—like the times I feel rushed or not as thoughtful as I’d like—has been a big part of my own journey. It’s not always easy, but the more I lean into self-love and staying with the feelings/emotions/sensations that are coming up in those moments, the more I grow.
What about you? Have you had moments today where you needed to practice that self-acceptance?
With ❤️,
Misun